“Wisdom resets in the heart of him who has understanding,
But what is in the heart of fools is made known”
SOME PEOPLE are conflictive: they like confrontation. At the least clash with someone’s opinion or action, they attack head on, they want to confront, fight argue and contend. They use this resource hoping to solve disagreements and differences of opinions; It’s very unlikely it will lead to the end they hope for. Confrontation produces fighting where each side tries to win, no matter what; there’s little interest in the triumph of true, learning a lesson or improving communication. In those cases, reasoning becomes clouded by anger, and violence and wrath take the driver’s seat. Confrontation isn’t a good option.
On the other hand, facing a problem has to do with making a conscious effort to solve a disagreement or difficulty with a person. It means recognizing the problem and dealing with it in a mature, wise and realistic way to reach an agreement and a solution, not to be the one that’s right and leaves the scene. Measurement, prudence, caution and awareness of what’s happening should be the elements used to prevent heated confrontations.
Through this approach, hardly anyone ever ends up getting hurt. At home, with our family, as well as at church with our brethren and friends, situations may come up that lead us to a disagreement; we always have a choice to make: confront a person or face the problem. Christian maturity must lead us to choose the latter; however, sometimes in sheet re- action, in quick spirits, without objective reasoning, we explode! The Lord tells us, «Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth» (Matthew 5:5), but, oh Lord, sometimes, being meek is so hard!
What are your attitudes toward stressful situations? What does God expect you to do? Is there coherence between the two? Do you have enough common sense to restrain your discomfort and prevent your anger from flowing like a stream of lava?
Many children learn to be rebellious from their belligerent mother’s behavior; some marriages end because of excessive confrontations; many relationships at church are cut off by an uncontrolled and intrepid tongue that moves to speak. Dear sister, God calls us to be peacemakers.
When you disagree with someone, face your differences with Christian love.