“He who is slow to wright has great understanding,
But who’s impulsive exalts folly”
MOTHERS and fathers have a leadership role in the home; by mutual agreement and consensus, they should make decisions that will result in their family system’s functionality, well-being and safety.
But in order to have a shared leadership, it’s necessary to know and consider the needs of the family and each of its members. Otherwise, this can become a tyranny, where some will exercise abuse over others. Listening, giving in,
talking and respecting each other’s rights are the best tools to achieve a balanced and shared leadership.
Within this shared leadership, children’s feelings should also be taken into account and, if it contributes to the family’s well-being, they can be al- lowed to make some decisions as they become old enough to do so. This will help them feel valued, increase their self-esteem, help them to mature and in their adult life, will have an impact in making them well-balanced and more self-confident.
According to Doctor D. Curran and other experts, among tensions that cause the most controversy in parental leadership, is arguing about the following matters: finances, educating and disciplining children, family time, communication, religious education and defining the values that will govern the home; the latter will be the guiding principles that will direct them inside and outside the home.
In the words of the educator Manuel Martinez: “For effective, shared and reciprocal leadership listen patiently—you need to be quiet to listen— don’t impertinently contradict, don’t pretend to be offended, govern with energy but not by force, don’t take on a role, neither dominant nor submissive, be fair and take advantage of each other’s abilities.”
When emotion and reason intertwine, when silence and voice are combined, and patience and common sense overcome impatience and arrogance, God is glorified in the home and heavenly angels are permanent family guests.