“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood,
a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim
the praises of Him who called you
out darkness into His marvelous light”
(1 Peter 2:9).
WE ALL WANT others to like us because it fulfills our need to belong and to be accepted, and also it makes us feel confident. However, many times this internal desire is conflict with us. In most cases, our life history, especially our first years of life, defines the intensity of our internal struggle.
In the first years of life, most children are showered with love and acceptance by their parents, which provides them with a full sense of security. On the other hand, others receive such a poor and meager emotional diet that they become insecure people, prone to begging for affection hoping to be liked by others. But as the old saying goes: “You are not a shiny gold coin that everyone is going to like.” We will be liked by some people, but we will never manage to be liked by everyone; that’s why trying to do so is a useless effort.
It’s important to accept as natural the fact that it’s part of human life that some people will dislike us; we should not make a big issue out of it. We should learn to live with it, not in resignation, but rather with optimism.
The only thing we can do is to deal with people without discrimination; once we have been respectful in treating them, being liked or not is out of our grasp.
People who have the ability to get along with others have cultivated certain qualities and have gotten rid of certain false concepts about themselves, Such as: “I’m ugly,” “nobody likes me,” “my life is boring,” “nobody is interested in me,” “I’ll never be popular,” “I’m an anonymous being in the universe” or “other people’s ideas and opinions are always better than mine.” These thoughts need to be eradicated from our minds so that we can really enjoy healthy and well-balanced interpersonal relationships.
The feeling of self-worth should first come from us as a realization that we are God’s creation, made in His image and likeness; not from the fact of the liking or disliking of others. Our first life experiences shouldn’t scar us forever.
No circumstance, regardless how terrifying or destructive it may be, can deprive us from God’s love.
He has enough power so that in spite of our mistakes we can live totally fulfilled lives.