Q: I am thirteen and really like this girl in my Sabbath School class. Actually, I think I’m in love with her! I don’t think she likes me, but I’m pretty sure she likes my best friend. Sometimes she says «Hi,» but usually she just walks away. I don’t know what to do. How can I get her to like me?
PS: Since she doesn’t like me, or probably doesn’t like me, I’ve been thinking about leaving church. Although I really don’t want to.
A: Unfortunately, you can’t make anybody like you. If you o could, I would have married Cher, the woman I was in love with when I was thirteen. No matter how hard I tried to force her to like me, the black-haired singer from Hollywood never returned my love or knew that Karl Haffner breathed. (1 used to sing Cher’s greatest hit, «I’ve Got You, Babe,» all alone to the mirror with my hairbrush microphone.)
What is important is that you be yourself and don’t allow others to control you. Be the person God made you to be and don’t change in order to get a girl to like you. Girls who like guys who pretend to be something they aren’t are as shallow as a frosted flake.
In sum, act—don’t react. To try to make her like you is reacting to her. To leave church is reacting to her. You say you don’t really want to leave church, then act on that, because that is who you really are. Determine what you want to do and act on it— regardless of what others say or do or think. Act—don’t react!