Distinguished people drink. Dan wanted to be distinguished. Famous people drink. Dan wanted to be famous. Sociable people drink. Dan wanted to be sociable. So why was Dan standing up to his neck in garbage yelling at the top of his lungs?
The story began the night before when Dan, a professional businessman, went out for a few beers at a local bar. After about an hour he began staggering home but on the way grew extremely sleepy. Crawling into what he believed to be a safe place, he drifted into a dazed stupor.
Unknown to the snoring businessman, he’d chosen a trash dumpster in which to spend the night. At dawn a truck came, picked up the receptacle, emptied its contents into its cavernous bed, and hurried on to the next collection site. The first thing Dan knew, he was wedged in tightly between some company’s outdated correspondence and a restaurant’s discarded boiled pasta.
When the truck reached the city’s dump site, Dan and the rest of the garbage landed on top of a smoldering, smelly heap of refuse. That’s when sanitation workers saw a head sticking out of the pile, its eyes wide in horror, mouth screaming for help.
Dan got his wish. He became very famous when newspaper and television reporters arrived along with an ambulance. Sociable? You betcha. Everyone wanted a look at the fool who spent the night in a dumpster. Distinguished? Well, that may be a bit difficult with a cityful of garbage on your head. But two out of three isn’t bad.