“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones” (Proverbs 12:4, NIV).
Economic and democratic development in contemporary societies has given people one of the best periods of wellbeing in the history of humanity, at least in western countries. Self-government and independence have become one of the main characteristics of men and women. However, values such as cooperation, a spirit of service and self-sacrifice, have been lost, which has really complicated the growth of interpersonal relationships, especially marriage.
Many young people have a fanciful idea of marriage. They dream of finding the perfect partner and marrying the person of their dreams, someone who will satisfy all their whims and spend the rest of their lives serving them. The truth is, that person doesn’t exist. That’s why a lot of marriages end up in divorce.
But when someone seems to meet the high standards for someone to commit to marriage, they dash their partner’s hopes soon after the wedding because daily life allows personal flaws to show through. Marital disappointment is very common in married life. The novelty these days is not divorce, but the depth of disillusionment experienced by people and the speed with which many marriages are struck down. It’s possible that while dating, too many expectations were formed about the partner, which were far above any human being.
The truth is that interpersonal relationships transform our lives. We are the product of coexisting with others. Our spouses are the result of what we have built. Of course, they have nothing to do with the person we met and dated. Those people no longer exist. They’re completely different because marital life has turned them into what they’ve become.
This morning’s verse gives us a good solution to build solid homes: focus on your spouse’s development, that is, turn them into a good person. As human beings we shape our spouses and through the years we build our own marital reality.
Don’t dream of a marriage where your spouse will have to satisfy your whims. Rather, from now on think about how you’ll manage to turn them into a king or a queen.