“As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion” (Proverbs 11:22).
Ahab was a young man full of possibilities. Heir to the throne of the kingdom of Israel, he was a very promising boy. But, one bad decision changed his life. One day he met the beautiful Jezebel, daughter of Ethbaal, King of Sidon. Her commanding gaze, her delicate lips and her slender figure attracted the young monarch. Besides, the young lady displayed a special elegance and moved like a fish in the water at social functions. She seemed like the ideal wife for a ruler.
In addition to being attractive, Jezebel was a strong-willed woman. As priestess of Astarte, the queen introduced her religion in Israel, had the Lord’s worshippers killed, persecuted God’s prophets and provided for hundreds of prophets of Baal, whom Ahab built a temple for (1 Kings 16:32). The queen promoted apostasy in Israel, the rise of immorality and heathen practices. The interesting thing is that military and political success made Ahab believe that Jezebel’s gods were powerful: he suppressed the Moabites and lived in peace with the Phoenicians and Judah (2 Kings 3:4-5). That brought about a lot of wealth to the country. He also defeated the Syrians twice and had the largest army among the nations found between Assyria and Egypt.
Ahab allowed Jezebel to take on important functions in government. She was the one that made important decisions at home. The husband was just a spectator. Even so, the king considered himself a worshiper of the God of Israel: he consulted His prophets several times (1 Kings 20:13, 14, 22, 28; 22:8, 16), gave his children Hebrew names (Ahaziah, Jehoram and Athaliah) and didn’t intervene when Elijah ordered Baal’s priests to be put to death (1 Kings 18:16-45).
Jezebel didn’t allow Ahab to worship God. She actually depersonalized him. She took over his life and molded him to her liking: unprincipled, and with no high standard of right doing, his character was easily molded by the determined spirit of Jezebel»—Prophets and Kings, ch. 8, p. 115. The king was like a boy whose mother protects him. Authority belonged to the queen. In the end, Ahab lost his life in a useless battle. Jezebel fell from a building and died.
To love is to respect the loved one’s decisions. Wanting to mold them your way means depersonalizing them; you’re more than likely to make them unhappy. TO love is to tolerate and not impose your own will. Imposing tends to destroy loving relationships.