«He who spares his rod hates his son but he who loves him disciplines him promptly*(Proverbs 13:24)
OIga decided to always use the positive reinforcement method with her child. From his first steps, she taught her little boy everything he had to do. Like all children, sometimes he obeyed her, sometimes he did not. When the little one followed his mother’s instructions, she gave him words of praise, smiles. and affection. Other times, she would give him little toys or sweets. When he was disobedient, she simply ignored him. Truth be told, the method worked well and Olga often used to comment that, during the three years of her son’s life, she had had no need to discipline him. Olga had her second son when her firstborn was almost four years old. The elder one began showing jealousy toward his younger brother and, one day, when the younger one was sleeping, he woke him by up pinching him, making the infant cry piercingly. Olga had seen what had happened and immediately spanked her older son
That day, a family friend was visiting and, quite surprised when she witnessed the incident, she exclaimed
“Olga, I thought you never punished your children and that you only used positive reinforcement!”
Olga answered her:
The truth is that my method is more efficient than punishments, but in emergencies, I have to use punishments to avoid catastrophic consequences.
“Sometimes, it is necessary to punish, especially when the desired behavior cannot be praised because it does not exist. Punishments don’t have to be physical, especially when children are growing up and can learn that actions have consequences. For example, punishing a child by not letting him or her attend a party or a trip is more effective than spanking them. In fact, the Bible recommends verbal correction as a first recourse: «Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching» (2 Tim. 4:2). Secondly, it presents the kind of discipline that emphasizes the natural consequences of our actions, «for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap» (Gal. 6:7). Thirdly, the Bible speaks of physical punishment which is sometimes necessary, «Foolishness is bound u in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him» (Prov. 22:15. If you have to punish your children, try avoiding physical punishments; instead, deny them some privileges which is a more effective alternative. But the most important thing
is not to punish them in anger but with love. This is what the Lord had to say about His method, «I drew them with gentle cords, with bands of love» (Hosea 11:4)