«A adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, «What’s wrong with that?» (Proverbs 30:20).
Falling in love is a natural part of life. But it can also become an addictive behavior. In fact, given the exaggerated attention given to romance nowadays, it has become one of the newest forms of addictions. When it comes to love, loneliness is the worst of all our fears, but that’s precisely the final result of uncontrolled passion. No one can withstand the exacting demands of addiction to passion; one usually ends up caving in. For those who profess to be «crazy in love,» with someone, the world itself is reconfigured and the object of their «love» takes on characteristics of a celestial deity. This entails their loved one being overvalued while they undervalue themselves—Marc Valleur and Jean-Claude Matysiak, Las nuevas adicciones del siglo XXI [New addictions of the 21st century], Barcelona: Paidös, 2005, p. 57. They claim to be lovesick, wrapped in a passion that sets the course of their lives. It doesn’t matter what the object of their affection asks for; they will give everything, no matter how outrageous it may seem, because the addiction is the driving force in their lives. An addiction of this sort can lead to a dependency on love, in other words, clinging to or insisting on pursuing a relation not because of the joy and fulfillment it brings, but because it has become a predictable, manageable, and repeatable refuge to assuage the cravings of the addict.
There are two important indicators of an addiction: (1) being unable to stop using something (a substance) or doing something (a behavior), with the threat of suffering from a particular ill; and (2) when said substance or behavior becomes the «center of one’s existence,» where nothing is more important that this «drug,» game or person.
Romantic relationships can also become addictive. Be very careful! This has nothing to do with true love. A person who doesn’t love you will only try to use you and will look for ways to establish an unhealthy codependency. The problems lies in the fact that nowadays, selfishness abounds and that’s evident because «people will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers Of pleasure rather than lovers of God—having a form of godliness but denying its power» (2 Timothy 3:2—5, NIV). Because the times we live in are dangerous, it’s so important to take God into consideration when falling in love.
Ask the lord today to help you make the best decision when it comes to your love life.