“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands” Proverbs 14:1
In Madame Bovary, Gustave Flaubert (1821-1880), the well-known French writer, describes a lady who apparently has it all: a good husband, financial stability, social status and beauty. But even so she isn’t happy. She feels deeply unhappy. She doesn’t see the point of living. She thinks she’s missing something because she doesn’t seem to enjoy what she has. Living seems so miserable to her that she even thinks about committing suicide (and at the end of the story she does so). To relieve her constant dissatisfaction, she feeds her mind with novels that lead her to create worlds where she tries to find a bit of excitement in her frustrating life. Deep down, she wants to live as something she isn’t. Everything will change with the arrival of two gentlemen who will in time seduce her, to later cause her greater depression.
It seems, then, that Madame Bovary goes through the experience of Ecclesiastes 2:1 with an eerie similarity: «I said to myself, ‘Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good.’ But that also proved to be meaningless.» In the end, problems she hasn’t managed to solve, poor money management, emotional dissatisfaction and conflicts with her lovers will lead her to make the decision to kill herself.
A woman’s emotional stability is more important than you imagine. In fact, it exerts great influence on the rest of the family members’ mood. «The happiness of the family depends much upon the wife and mother. If she is weak and nervous, and is suffered to be overtaxed with labor, the mind becomes depressed, for it sympathizes with the weariness of the body; and then she too often meets with cold reserve from the husband»—Testimonies for the Church, vol. 1, ch. 62, p. 306. Considering this scenario, it’s crucial for men to have a better attitude to contribute to our spouse’s emotional stability.
All human beings, be it men or women, decide to build or destroy a loving relationship. And the truth is there are many things that can destroy a couple’s love, but it’s also true that there are other things that can build it up and strengthen it. It all depends on our choice. Will we build or destroy?
If you want to safeguard love, decide to build your relationship and don’t destroy it.